It is undeniable that the world is full of madness, hatred, prejudice, and lima beans (lima beans are putrid) and we don't have to go any particular spiritual length to discover this. Every time we experience loss, pain, sadness, and all the other emotions that cause us to suffer, our awareness of the impermanence of the good things becomes acute. You don't have to tell someone who just lost their parent or partner that life is short and precious. You don't have to convince anyone that the human struggle with the outside world is a struggle. Conclusively, we can probably agree that shaming and exploiting the vulnerability of people in pain under the guise of having answers is wrong. And what's the use of all this awareness anyway? Let's say I increase my Consciousness Quotient (CQ) by 30 points this year. If I stub my toe on a table leg on the way to the bathroom tonight, it's gonna hurt just as badly as if I were spiritually asleep. Who needs to be more aware of a broken pinky toe?
The problem with The Consciousness Delusion is that it works to convince us that in order to be clear on the inside, we have to see the world more critically on the outside. Thanks to the one-click pandemonium of the information age, we know a lot about what's happening "out there", but we are becoming more and more clueless about what's happening "in here." We often feel alone in our internal desperation and confusion, but I assure you, we are not alone. Even NASA knows more about what's happening on Mars than what's happening in Earth's ocean. The Earth is also in space, and considering the health, vastness and importance of Mother Earth's ocean, you'd think that a little more effort and energy would be spent finding out what's going on in there.
One fundamental human error involves the belief that Out There is more important than In Here. How could we have made such an obvious miscalculation? In Here is most certainly closer than Out There and things closest to us have the ability to affect our day to day happenings much more quickly and consistently than things that are further away. Though ignorance goes without saying, the meta analysis of hows and whys for such an oversight are largely irrelevant. Quite simply put, this is what we humans do until we stop doing this.
I spent a lot of my life searching Out There for answers to my very important questions. I was convinced that if I could just get other people to do what I wanted them to do the way I wanted them to, my life would be perfect. But people...they just wouldn't act right. Neither would the weather. I'd want to go boogey boarding and the waves wouldn't act right. I'd want to travel to visit loved ones and airline fares wouldn't act right. I'd want to finish my bottle of wine on the way through security and TSA wouldn't act right. The more I searched for the seemingly illusive enlightened place where I would be harmoniously clear and blissful, the less the world would behave according to my harmonious ambitions. I was digging a deeper and wider hole of self-centered consciousness delusion and calling it spiritual progress. So I allowed myself to have a nervous breakdown. I figured that if the world wasn't going to act right, then neither would I. It wasn't my brightest moment, but it was the beginning of a transformation in the way I thought about myself with relation to the outside world.
The first step I took towards catching a glimpse of the light was accepting that I had created the pandemonium. I created it by assuming that life was supposed to be perfect for me because "I'm smart and talented, dammit!" I had a doctorate degree and an art resume and I could make people laugh. I was a nice person and I considered others' feelings and so on. My wonderful self couldn't possibly be experiencing all this pain, loss, and suffering because I didn't deserve this! hehe.
I had spent so much time acquiring labels and ideas of myself from bouncing myself off the outside world that I forgot to take myself to the hole. I had a degree in other people's thoughts, but I couldn't regulate my own thinking and emotions. I could make others laugh, but I was crying on the inside every day. I was a nice person (sometimes), but I beat myself up whenever I made a mistake. I considered others' feelings (debatable), but if you asked me how I was feeling at any given moment, the best I could come up with was "fine, I guess." Slowly, with great humility and gratitude, I began to recognize the necessity for questioning my approach to life.
Please, don't ask me how it's done because I'm still figuring that out. But I do know that In Here is the place where change begins. Out There has somewhere around 38 billion years of experience getting itself to right where it is, so, like an old man who likes his Matlock, the rate of change has probably slowed a bit. In contrast, I only have 34 years to draw from, which leaves plenty untapped opportunities for dynamic exploration and experimentation. Moreover, I have much more fun challenging my beliefs, asking myself questions, and conquering my fears than pursuing some banal, esoteric concept of popular Consciousness provided by someone else's experiences.
We conquer the Consciousness Delusion every time we ask ourselves "Is this my best?" When we allow ourselves to teach ourselves about ourselves using our very own natural, innate conscience as our guide, we no longer have to pursue consciousness. Consciousness pursues us.
Love,
Blue
Hi. My name is Blue. I'm a social psychologist, singer/songwriter, actress, author, and permaculture farmer from East St. Louis, IL who moved to the Big Island of Hawaii to cultivate and share simplicity. I embrace all things magical, I believe all things wonderful, and I want my homies to be happy. Won't you be my homie?
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Subscribe to this blog for mind massages that inspire the spirit. Special thanks to my family and friends for your continuous lessons.
;) :) excellent
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