Conquering The Consciousness Delusion

People these days seem to be chasing "consciousness." Everywhere we look, someone has a prescription for our consciousness. They can also tell us whether or not we're conscious, how conscious we are, and why we're not conscious enough. "Consciousness Shaming" seems to be the new age version of bullying for adults who have experienced the helpless anger that spawns depression.

It is undeniable that the world is full of madness, hatred, prejudice, and lima beans (lima beans are putrid) and we don't have to go any particular spiritual length to discover this. Every time we experience loss, pain, sadness, and all the other emotions that cause us to suffer, our awareness of the impermanence of the good things becomes acute. You don't have to tell someone who just lost their parent or partner that life is short and precious. You don't have to convince anyone that the human struggle with the outside world is a struggle. Conclusively, we can probably agree that shaming and exploiting the vulnerability of people in pain under the guise of having answers is wrong. And what's the use of all this awareness anyway? Let's say I increase my Consciousness Quotient (CQ) by 30 points this year. If I stub my toe on a table leg on the way to the bathroom tonight, it's gonna hurt just as badly as if I were spiritually asleep. Who needs to be more aware of a broken pinky toe?

The problem with The Consciousness Delusion is that it works to convince us that in order to be clear on the inside, we have to see the world more critically on the outside. Thanks to the one-click pandemonium of the information age, we know a lot about what's happening "out there", but we are becoming more and more clueless about what's happening "in here." We often feel alone in our internal desperation and confusion, but I assure you, we are not alone. Even NASA knows more about what's happening on Mars than what's happening in Earth's ocean. The Earth is also in space, and considering the health, vastness and importance of Mother Earth's ocean, you'd think that a little more effort and energy would be spent finding out what's going on in there. 

One fundamental human error involves the belief that Out There is more important than In Here. How could we have made such an obvious miscalculation? In Here is most certainly closer than Out There and things closest to us have the ability to affect our day to day happenings much more quickly and consistently than things that are further away. Though ignorance goes without saying, the meta analysis of hows and whys for such an oversight are largely irrelevant. Quite simply put, this is what we humans do until we stop doing this.

I spent a lot of my life searching Out There for answers to my very important questions. I was convinced that if I could just get other people to do what I wanted them to do the way I wanted them to, my life would be perfect. But people...they just wouldn't act right. Neither would the weather. I'd want to go boogey boarding and the waves wouldn't act right. I'd want to travel to visit loved ones and airline fares wouldn't act right. I'd want to finish my bottle of wine on the way through security and TSA wouldn't act right. The more I searched for the seemingly illusive enlightened place where I would be harmoniously clear and blissful, the less the world would behave according to my harmonious ambitions. I was digging a deeper and wider hole of self-centered consciousness delusion and calling it spiritual progress. So I allowed myself to have a nervous breakdown. I figured that if the world wasn't going to act right, then neither would I. It wasn't my brightest moment, but it was the beginning of a transformation in the way I thought about myself with relation to the outside world.

The first step I took towards catching a glimpse of the light was accepting that I had created the pandemonium. I created it by assuming that life was supposed to be perfect for me because "I'm smart and talented, dammit!" I had a doctorate degree and an art resume and I could make people laugh. I was a nice person and I considered others' feelings and so on. My wonderful self couldn't possibly be experiencing all this pain, loss, and suffering because I didn't deserve this! hehe. 

I had spent so much time acquiring labels and ideas of myself from bouncing myself off the outside world that I forgot to take myself to the hole. I had a degree in other people's thoughts, but I couldn't regulate my own thinking and emotions. I could make others laugh, but I was crying on the inside every day. I was a nice person (sometimes), but I beat myself up whenever I made a mistake. I considered others' feelings (debatable), but if you asked me how I was feeling at any given moment, the best I could come up with was "fine, I guess." Slowly, with great humility and gratitude, I began to recognize the necessity for questioning my approach to life. 

Please, don't ask me how it's done because I'm still figuring that out. But I do know that In Here is the place where change begins. Out There has somewhere around 38 billion years of experience getting itself to right where it is, so, like an old man who likes his Matlock, the rate of change has probably slowed a bit. In contrast, I only have 34 years to draw from, which leaves plenty untapped opportunities for dynamic exploration and experimentation. Moreover, I have much more fun challenging my beliefs, asking myself questions, and conquering my fears than pursuing some banal, esoteric concept of popular Consciousness provided by someone else's experiences. 

We conquer the Consciousness Delusion every time we ask ourselves "Is this my best?" When we allow ourselves to teach ourselves about ourselves using our very own natural, innate conscience as our guide, we no longer have to pursue consciousness. Consciousness pursues us. 

Love,

Blue 

Hi. My name is Blue. I'm a social psychologist, singer/songwriter, actress, author, and permaculture farmer from East St. Louis, IL who moved to the Big Island of Hawaii to cultivate and share simplicity. I embrace all things magical, I believe all things wonderful, and I want my homies to be happy. Won't you be my homie? 
Subscribe to this blog for mind massages that inspire the spirit. Special thanks to my family and friends for your continuous lessons. 

Quieting the Noise

Trish writes:

"I'm taking a day off for a period of personal reflection....again. I have a lot on my plate...as usual. I realized something. I am most at peace somewhere quiet. The loudest person in the room and she craves quiet...oh the irony. I appreciate it more because my life isn't really quiet anymore. I went to one of my happy places....Barnes & Noble. I used to buy stuff for me. Instead, I bought coffee and food. And books for my daughter 

heart emoticon Most of the time I feel like a bad mother. I think that's proof I'm trying really hard. I miss her all the time. My husband says that I have to stop living in fear. I don't know how to live in the moment. Who ARE these people who can do that?"

At various points in our lives, we feel so overwhelmed that it scares us. Excessive noise, characteristic of every moment of the day in our busy, modern world, can often make things seem much more complicated than they are. The clarity that we need to Dougie through our day becomes this esoteric philosophical construct that Byron Katie or Thich Nhat Hanh talked about in that one video, but "please don't post the video in my TL because they don't know my life and neither do you." 

Shutting off the noise seems impossible. I mean, it's our responsibility to know everything that's going on. It's our job to be plugged in. We have to follow the trends. We have to inform our children. We have to be a step ahead of our clients. When do we have time for "inner peace", whatever that means?

You've been trained to be smart and multitask. You've collected whatever degrees and/or experience, worked your ass off to learn every damned thing, and now you have to use your knowledge to get you to the next level. Right? So when is there time for quiet? 

Mastering the art of quiet is easier than you think. The key is to stop thinking. I know, I know...sounds like crazy talk, but thinking, calculating, and strategizing every moment of your life is a recipe for an aneurism. It's much easier to live stupid. Stupid in the sense that you just don't know or care about anything except what's right in front of you, remaining with that one thing until the next thing comes. 

Remember when you were 11 years old: "Record" and "Pause" were pressed in on your tape deck. You listened intently so that you could run to the stereo, release the "Pause" button and record your favorite song directly from the radio to your blank cassette tape. Remember how you felt when the song queued through your mom's speakers. You were ready. You were the master of your domain. You were capturing a moment of happiness that no one could steal from you. The DJ announced the end of the song and for the first time since its release, you didn't care that it was over. You had overcome the limitations of boundless time and space. To the sympathetic vexation of your parents, you could listen to your jam over and over and over again and each time, it was the greatest song in the world. When that synthetic drum riff kicked off, wo to the man who dared interrupt the next three and a quarter minutes of your very important moment. Whether or not the others understood, they knew that whatever they needed had to wait three and a quarter minutes...and if they didn't catch you during the 12 second rewind interlude, they'd have to wait another three and a quarter minutes. 

You were the same person then as you are now. The only difference is that you're more aware of the things that could go wrong in three and a quarter minutes. But those things could have gone wrong when you were 11 years old, listening to "Computer Love" or "When Doves Cry" on the Magic station. So it's not about whether or not something will happen. Because something is definitely going to happen. Something is always happening. It might be good. It might be bad. Either way, stuff happens. Still, if you're listening to your song over and over again, thoughtlessly loving it each time, you'll be happier when stuff happens than if you spend your life fearing the unforeseen. 

Fear is simple. It's what happens when you lose faith. At some point in your life, you experienced a loss that shook your sense of security before you had the tools to deal with such a loss. You decided that you had to become your own super hero; harnessing the power of complete control over reality...cuz whoever or whatever is "out there" dropped the casserole. As long as you knew everything and practiced all the drills, you could prevent catastrophe from visiting you or those in your care. So when catastrophe struck again, your sense of self control was snatched out from under you, leaving you faithless and afraid of reality.  

When life challenges your faith and your sense of control, it's important to regain perspective. All of this life...these problems...destruction...suffering...joy...elation...pleasure...love...all of this was around long before you showed up and it will be around long after you're gone. The sun shines no matter what you think. Reality is going to go on no matter what you know. And, believe it or not, all we humans are living life just like all the other humans. We are all made of the same stuff, going through the same things. We are learning to balance and reclaim our senses of faith and self control through loss and suffering as life propels us from moment to moment. 

So what do you do? Well...you do whatever you want to do. Clean off your plate and prioritize your own peace and clarity with the stupid faith of your 11-year-old self. A cute reading nook in your home is quieter than Barnes & Noble. Furthermore, your daughter is there and she likes you much more than those people at Barnes & Noble. Your husband can bring you a sandwich, which would cost much less than sandwiches at Barnes & Noble. Moreover, you can play your favorite song over and over again, right from your favorite reading chair. Be thoughtless in the moment and allow the noise to take care of itself. The fear will dissipate. You will master the art of quiet, understanding that you don't have to "do" or "know" anything to deserve the right to exist. In time, you will take back your faith and your sense of self-control, knowing that it's ok to be stupid for at least three and a quarter minutes every day. 

Take every day off for personal reflection. We other people....we don't expect anything from you. We just want you to be happy. 

Love,

Blue

Hi. My name is Blue. I'm a social psychologist, singer/songwriter, actress, author, and permaculture farmer from East St. Louis, IL who moved to the Big Island of Hawaii to cultivate and share simplicity. I embrace all things magical, I believe all things wonderful, and I want my homies to be happy. Won't you be my homie? 
Subscribe to this blog for mind massages that inspire the spirit. Find my book, The Tao of Pimpin': a folk tale by Blue on Amazon Kindle and in paperback from Bailey Girls Publishing. Warning: I cuss a lot.